Mama’s and Puppies

So my Baby Sis took off after graduating a couple of weeks ago and has spent a week in Canada and one in Seattle Washington. She is now in Alaska at a camp for Agriculture (Fairbanks, AK to be exact). She has sent pictures and I am beyond laughing at the fact she is having to “rough it” at this camp. She does have running water and a shower. But must use an outhouse (Que mom laughing hysterically when those pictures came in). Oh and by the way, the text this morning was just, we had to take cold showers last night.

Accidents and Million Dollar Brother

So a week or so ago, I had to call upon my middle child to help me out a bit. I stated in my most recent blog to hold on and see what new adventures we would go on. It only took a day or so after writing that blog that adventure found me. If you are not a gory kind of person, you may want to pass on this post…

Continue reading “Accidents and Million Dollar Brother”

Life Directions – Changing Tides

So when I started this blog , wow, three and a half years ago, I never thought I would have written as much as I have. This has become a hobby for me and it is an outlet when I am feeling pressured or feeling the pain of my loss of Big Bubby.

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How Triggers Impact My Life Now

So I have been in this crazy, horrible club now for three and a half years. I have seen myself go from totally numb from drugs and drinking to feeling every small pain staking step through my grief.

For those who follow me, this is a post about grief, learning to hide it from those you love, and how it impacts every aspect of your life. You may want to pass if you are my family or friends as it is not something for everyone.

WHAT I DIDN’T ASK FOR

It seems sometimes that those who are around bereaved parents forget is that we didn’t ask to be put here. For some reason, God decided it was time to take our borrowed child back.

Just because our outward appearance seems as if we are put together, our insides would tell a different story if they could talk. Most parents who have buried a child try not to continue to make others uncomfortable by talking about the child lost. Sometimes, we do talk and it puts others in an uncomfortable place. We don’t do this for you to feel sorry for us, say something to us, or get your sympathy. We do this to keep the memory of our child alive. To here their name spoken one more time, to talk about them and the life they had, and to help you understand what a great loss it was to us.

New Years Resolutions Never Kept

We all make New Year’s resolutions, most are to lose weight, stop smoking, find a better job, all of which are abandoned even before we close the door on January 31st.

This year, I am not going to set myself up to fail at New Years resolutions that will end up never being met. Instead, I am going to make a list of things that I am most grateful for and that I pray for peace and prosperity in the new year:

  1. My children are healthy and in stable, long-term, one married, one engaged relationships 🙂
  2. My husband is healthy and has a wonderful job that is very supportive of family and home life
  3. I am back around family and friends who are my support structure through the rough times and celebration team through the great times
  4. I am healthy, love my job, and have three fun loving fur babies to keep me on my toes at home
  5. God and I are better than we have been
  6. Grateful for finishing my book and I am pushing to publish it this year
  7. Grateful to work on finding peace for the losses I carry daily
  8. Waking up to a new day ready to face what is given to me by God
  9. Grateful that I am learning to walk by faith slowly knowing this is Gods plan and not mine
  10. Being grateful for and taking time to love the life I have

So while others are out making resolutions that will fade quickly, I will say hold your loved ones close, tell them every day that you love them, and make sure you find one thing to be grateful for each day. End your day in prayer of thankfulness to the one who holds you when you can no longer hold yourself.

May everyone stay safe tonight, take Uber/Lyft rides if necessary, and enjoy your New Year. 2019 is going to be a better year than 2018!