One phone call, three words, and my world changed forever two years/24 months/720 days/17,280 hours/1,036,800 minutes ago. That brings us to today marking my second year without Big Bubby. I will forever remember the call that in a split moment, changed my world forever. Although at the time we didn’t know exactly what had happened, but became all too aware within hours that our precious Big Bubby was gone from our lives forever.
My first year was such a blur with all that I was doing to numb the insurmountable pain that I was trying so desperately to run from, this year has been worse. It was so much easier to stay numb to all of this pain and not care what others thought. To stay numb to the immense pain the loss of a child holds. Waking every morning, only to come to realize it will be another day in hell, another day of feeling the emptiness of Big Bubby being gone, knowing you won’t hear your baby’s voice ever again. Also, waking and knowing, there are people who need you still here on earth and who want to help guide you as easily as possible through this personal hell a mother goes through when you lose a child.
While they are not first’s by date, they are firsts for me in a way. Continue reading “Second Year Down and Counting….”
A few weeks ago, my husband and I were out to eat at a restaurant that typically isn’t known for a loud atmosphere. On this night though, to me, it seemed VERY loud. While I know that I am much more sensitive to all my senses now, I felt that it was above that on this particular visit. Continue reading “The Sound of Silence”
Over the past few days when things have been tough for me, I have found that again, Melanie and her blog have shown me things. Continue reading “What does a Successful Life Look Like to You? Do You Even See Your Family As Part of It?”
I was reading another blogger’s blog today that he wrote about a specific verse in the bible. He gave me a whole new meaning to the verse he stated in his post. Below is what he wrote. Please go check out Rogers blog that I have put a link to here: Continue reading “Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who morn, for they will be comforted – What does that really mean to you?”
So tomorrow marks the second birthday without Big Bubby. No fan fair will be made of the day. Some new flowers on his headstone and thoughts of him having birthday cake with Jesus. But that will be the extent of the celebration of his second birthday in heaven.
Continue reading “26th Birthday”
I have learned in my 40 something years of living there are times in life that are considered “Life Changing Moments”. Moments when you stop and look at what you are doing with your life and say to yourself, “is this all worth it” or “am I in the right place for my family and I”?
Continue reading “Life Changing Moments”
I am going to be trying out some of the Daily Prompt blog prompts this year as well. Just to get my writing better and on a more consistent habit.
I know my family and friends will all fall out of their chairs when they read that I am even thinking of writing a book. I know there are tons of books already out there from grieving parents about every way a child could pass, but maybe my story is a little different and has a different perspective than all the others and if it helps one person besides me and I can get someone to publish it, then I have achieved my goal. Continue reading “Float”