End of Year Fun

My company that I came back to work for in the Dallas area consolidated as of January 1, 2020, with a company out of Seattle, Washington. This was announced to our group in early November. For some this is quite the shock for the holiday season. If you have ever been through one of these mergers/acquisitions, you know all the crazy questions going through our teams minds right now. Over my 20+ years working in the healthcare industry, I have learned to roll with the punches and eventually something works out just fine.

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Thanksgiving 2019

So we are at another beginning of the holiday season. Time to be thankful for what we have. For those of us who have lost a child/children, it is sometimes very difficult to find anything to be thankful for. I mean, why are people always so happy during the holiday’s? Why do they assume we should be smiling and happy too? Don’t they know that our world fell apart? That we lost the most precious thing to us EVER? Can’t they see that on our face?

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TMS Treatment – How Has It Really Been?

So I have completed my 36 treatments as of Thanksgiving Eve. This was a good way to end my treatment, on a day when family would be together the next. So how was it you ask? Do I feel different? Can others tell a difference in me? Am I still on medication? How long is the treatment supposed to last? Are there follow up treatments that I have to do?

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4 Years, 1,460 days, 35,040 hours, Too Many Minutes and Seconds to Count

So here we are another anniversary, another year gone by, another set of days without your smile, your laugh, your presence here for me to take in. This year has been a year of reclaiming myself. Finding a small amount of peace within my grief. Learning that I can feel happiness again and not feel guilty to have that in my life.

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Things Learned After Loss….

Today marks a very dark day in the history of our country. 18 years ago a terrorist group thought they could take us down with the acts of September 11th. I saw a post this morning on Facebook that stated, “I miss September 12, 2001”. Meaning the coming together of our country to unify as one showing terrorism they couldn’t break us. But we have broke our country, we need September 12th back. It is just another loss that is felt for so many of us who have lost so much.

Eighteen years ago I didn’t know the true grief of losing a child, I wasn’t “one of those parents” yet. Since 2015 I have come to know all too well the grief associated with losing my child to a traumatic loss. Although not the magnitude of September 11th, it is still a loss greater than I could have ever imagined it would be.

I have noted that since the loss of Big Bubby I have learned many things. Good and bad, these have been life lessons that I would not have learned without the loss of my child.

  • I have learned that people will pull away from you so they are not uncomfortable around you
  • I have learned that there are soooo very many different types of loss and that even though I have lost a child, doesn’t mean that the next mom who loses a child will have the same type of feelings
  • I have learned to show grace and forgiveness before holding tight to grudges – they are not worth losing a relationship that you treasure
  • I have learned that you must be “that person” who is there for others to talk to in their time of need
  • I have learned to lean heavily on those who know what I lost when Big Bubby went ahead of me
    I have learned that you find your true family and friends and the support system you will forever need

Another 4th of July = Another Day of Anxiety for Krissie the Emotional Support Dog in the Books

It is sometimes interesting how animals and people come together for each other. My emotional support dog, Krissie, most of the time needs more support from me than I do from her. She HATES loud noises, motorcycles, air vents above the stove, just about anything noisy she hates it and runs for cover.