I have always associated PTSD with soldiers coming home from war zones and trying to acclimate themselves back into the life they left behind and first responders. There has been several movies that touch on PTSD not really talked about it but if you know the signs you can figure it out.
After losing Big Bubby to such a tragic accident the way we did, I have had several doctors who all state that I have some form of PTSD. When they tell me that, I feel like I am dishonoring the military and first responders who see sooo much more horrible things than what I have been through. Yes, my loss was tragic and I wish every day that it hadn’t happened to me and my family but military and first responders see it every day.
Night terrors, night mares, whatever you want to say they are can rock someones world since there is no going back to a peaceful sleep. Being scared to go anywhere afraid something will trigger a memory that is too hard to relive. Or meeting someone on the street that stops you and wants to talk your ear off when all you want is your cup of coffee and your couch.
This was never a worry of mine, put to the back of my mind especially when Big Bubby came home from Afghanistan and I didn’t know what was transpiring in his home with his wife. He did have some trauma from going over to fight for terrorism. He never told me or his dad about the mental struggle he had. He wouldn’t seek treatment because he said there were others worse off than him and that he could deal with it. A chip off the old mom block right there my friends.
Now, three years in, I know that to some extent, there is a PTSD side to my loss. Not being able to see Big Bubby after the accident before the burial, the nature of the accident itself, and just simply losing a child out of order has shown that PTSD is not just for the military or the first repsonders.
Don’t let this blog go without saying, if you are struggling with PTSD today, please reach out to someone for help. We are many and we are here to be a voice of reason when the memories are too much. No life should be lost to this tragic disease.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Shattered Dreams and Shattered Faith 
Yes exactly! I lost my son John to a tragic car accident last year he was riding his bike home at night an was hit by a truck. When I drive an I see a child on the side of the road or a bike or anyone that comes up beside me, I get so scared I almost can’t breath . I will literally go to the other side of the road if I have to pass someone on a bike . when I found out one of my other children was riding a bike I freaked out an told him I never want him to ride a bike again ! PTSD is awful .. I too do not have the time or money for the Counseling I know I need . It’s been over a year an it’s still affecting my life.
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You are not alone. We are a group of parents who never wanted to meet but have been thrust into a relationship based on loss.
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