Things Learned After Loss….

Today marks a very dark day in the history of our country. 18 years ago a terrorist group thought they could take us down with the acts of September 11th. I saw a post this morning on Facebook that stated, “I miss September 18, 2001”. Meaning the coming together of our country to unify as one showing terrorism they couldn’t break us. But we have broke our country, we need September 18th back. It is just another loss that is felt for so many of us who have lost so much.

Eighteen years ago I didn’t know the true grief of losing a child, I wasn’t “one of those parents” yet. Since 2015 I have come to know all too well the grief associated with losing my child to a traumatic loss. Although not the magnitude of September 11th, it is still a loss greater than I could have ever imagined it would be.

I have noted that since the loss of Big Bubby I have learned many things. Good and bad, these have been life lessons that I would not have learned without the loss of my child.

  • I have learned that people will pull away from you so they are not uncomfortable around you
  • I have learned that there are soooo very many different types of loss and that even though I have lost a child, doesn’t mean that the next mom who loses a child will have the same type of feelings
  • I have learned to show grace and forgiveness before holding tight to grudges – they are not worth losing a relationship that you treasure
  • I have learned that you must be “that person” who is there for others to talk to in their time of need
  • I have learned to lean heavily on those who know what I lost when Big Bubby went ahead of me
    I have learned that you find your true family and friends and the support system you will forever need

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