SENSITIVITY…….LOSS……FULL CIRCLE

I was going to write about the shooting in Florida and how much it disgusts me to see this happen again. Then I heard that North Texas found out about three separate shooters planning school attacks. I decided to write about how this now effects me when I hear of these horrible acts. Continue reading “SENSITIVITY…….LOSS……FULL CIRCLE”

Second Year Down and Counting….

Second Year Down and Counting….

One phone call, three words, and my world changed forever two years/24 months/720 days/17,280 hours/1,036,800 minutes ago. That brings us to today marking my second year without Big Bubby. I will forever remember the call that in a split moment, changed my world forever. Although at the time we didn’t know exactly what had happened, but became all too aware within hours that our precious Big Bubby was gone from our lives forever.

My first year was such a blur with all that I was doing to numb the insurmountable pain that I was trying so desperately to run from, this year has been worse. It was so much easier to stay numb to all of this pain and not care what others thought. To stay numb to the immense pain the loss of a child holds. Waking every morning, only to come to realize it will be another day in hell, another day of feeling the emptiness of Big Bubby being gone, knowing you won’t hear your baby’s voice ever again. Also, waking and knowing, there are people who need you still here on earth and who want to help guide you as easily as possible through this personal hell a mother goes through when you lose a child.

While they are not first’s by date, they are firsts for me in a way.  Continue reading “Second Year Down and Counting….”

The Sound of Silence

A few weeks ago, my husband and I were out to eat at a restaurant that typically isn’t known for a loud atmosphere. On this night though, to me, it seemed VERY loud. While I know that I am much more sensitive to all my senses now, I felt that it was above that on this particular visit. Continue reading “The Sound of Silence”

A LONG TIME HAS GONE BY…..

So it has been months since I have written a post to my blog. A lot has happened in those months and I am trying to get back to writing again. It has been over 3 months now since I have written. I don’t hold back in this post, this tells the dirty truth about a parent grieving and how it quickly spirals out of control even for those of us who feel we are strong enough to handle ourselves without help.

Continue reading “A LONG TIME HAS GONE BY…..”

And We Have Arrived At Our Final Destination….

By the heading of my blog today, some might sense this will be about travel. In some ways it will be, but in others it is the destination of the final “first” for my family. This is the day that we were awakened by a phone call and hours of waiting for confirmation that Big Bubby had went home to be with Jesus. I still have a very hard time with the other word, I hardly use it because it has such a finality to it that I can’t bring myself to use it. Continue reading “And We Have Arrived At Our Final Destination….”

Bereaved Parent’s Wish List (from thelifeididntchoose blog)

I have tried to put into words for a year now what I want people who haven’t lost children to know about me now. Melanie over at The Life I didn’t Choose put my words together perfectly in her blog called Bereaved Parent’s Wish List. I asked her permission to post here. So my post today is short, but please go read Melanie’s blog as it is perfectly written.

I suggest following her as well. She has been such a blessing to me over the past months that she will never know her impact on my life.

As always, Melanie, you write what I can’t and make me know I am not alone on this battle field of grief.

Thanks for all you do for me.

Stacie