One phone call, three words, and my world changed forever two years/24 months/720 days/17,280 hours/1,036,800 minutes ago. That brings us to today marking my second year without Big Bubby. I will forever remember the call that in a split moment, changed my world forever. Although at the time we didn’t know exactly what had happened, but became all too aware within hours that our precious Big Bubby was gone from our lives forever.
My first year was such a blur with all that I was doing to numb the insurmountable pain that I was trying so desperately to run from, this year has been worse. It was so much easier to stay numb to all of this pain and not care what others thought. To stay numb to the immense pain the loss of a child holds. Waking every morning, only to come to realize it will be another day in hell, another day of feeling the emptiness of Big Bubby being gone, knowing you won’t hear your baby’s voice ever again. Also, waking and knowing, there are people who need you still here on earth and who want to help guide you as easily as possible through this personal hell a mother goes through when you lose a child.
While they are not first’s by date, they are firsts for me in a way. Continue reading “Second Year Down and Counting….”
So, if you have followed me for very long, you know that I am trying to write a book about the last year and a half of my family’s life. I had a conference call with one publisher before we left on our cruise to discuss publishing my book once I get it finished. Which I am not sure how long that will take as each chapter takes on a life of its own and I am constantly reminded to take a break as it is hard to write about what has devastated our family. Continue reading “THE INFAMOUS BOOK WRITING….”
Over the past few days when things have been tough for me, I have found that again, Melanie and her blog have shown me things. Continue reading “What does a Successful Life Look Like to You? Do You Even See Your Family As Part of It?”
I was reading another blogger’s blog today that he wrote about a specific verse in the bible. He gave me a whole new meaning to the verse he stated in his post. Below is what he wrote. Please go check out Rogers blog that I have put a link to here: Continue reading “Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who morn, for they will be comforted – What does that really mean to you?”
So I haven’t been on here in a while. I have been doing work and life things that take you away from the constant reminders that you have lost someone. Yesterday and today have been hard days for me, not really sure why but they have been. Continue reading “Bad Days and Good Dys”
So tomorrow marks the second birthday without Big Bubby. No fan fair will be made of the day. Some new flowers on his headstone and thoughts of him having birthday cake with Jesus. But that will be the extent of the celebration of his second birthday in heaven.
Continue reading “26th Birthday”
By the heading of my blog today, some might sense this will be about travel. In some ways it will be, but in others it is the destination of the final “first” for my family. This is the day that we were awakened by a phone call and hours of waiting for confirmation that Big Bubby had went home to be with Jesus. I still have a very hard time with the other word, I hardly use it because it has such a finality to it that I can’t bring myself to use it. Continue reading “And We Have Arrived At Our Final Destination….”
I have posted a few times before this that due to certain circumstances, my faith in humanity has been lost. Again, this proved true two weeks ago yesterday. Continue reading “Lost Faith in All Humanity…..”
Seven months ago today, I received the worst call a parent could ever receive. My Cowgirl was on her way to the medical examiners office to identify my oldest baby. We could only identify him by finger prints and tattoo’s and they would not let her see him. Traveling back to Texas was the worst trip I have ever made. There is nothing worse than the call that one of your children you have carried, gave birth to, and raised is gone in the blink of an eye. Continue reading “Seven Months – What Does That Mean?”