I haven’t written here in months. As many of you who have followed my blog for a while now, know that my family and I hardly slow down for much. We are constantly in a state of change always.
Holding true to that, we have news to tell. Most friends and family, Facebook friends, and work friends know but I am writing about different items in this blog not just this one. So, get ready for a long post….
First, before Big Bubby left us for heaven, as I have posted before, I moved to New Orleans, LA for a great job opportunity and a place my husband and I thought we might retire to. When we lost big bubby, I had always heard the phrase, “don’t make huge life decisions for at least a year”, and we didn’t. We didn’t make any huge life decisions: one, because I couldn’t due to being so out of it with the drugs and drinking, two, because we still thought we could make it in New Orleans.
Starting soon after the second anniversary, my husband and I began discussing coming home to Dallas. There were several catalyst to that discussion coming up such as weddings coming, my mental well-being (get into that in a minute), long 14 hour drives to West Texas because of emergencies, etc. As we discussed moving back, my boss at the time called me in to discuss my yearly performance evaluation. We talked about whether I was still happy with where I was at and the work that I was doing. At that point, it occurred to me that I really wasn’t, I was constantly thinking of getting back to home (where my kids were), and with my husband traveling, it was difficult to be in New Orleans that far away from family. My boss told me to think about what my goals were and we would discuss the next day. I walked in the next day and resigned.
So with mixed feelings of leaving great co-workers who had endured the most raw of my feelings for almost three years, and being able to be back with family, I moved back to the Dallas area (with a weekend home in the Texas Panhandle) at the end of May 2018. I had begun to only go to work and home in New Orleans. I shopped for everything online. When my husband would come to see me from his traveling work, I wouldn’t even go to the store to buy groceries with him. I had become very reclusive. (I didn’t see at the time, but now that I am back in Dallas, I do see what I was doing to myself). My husband was very concerned that I was becoming too dependent on this type of living that I would not be able to come back from it. I can report that I do get out more often now. Shopping for groceries is still a hard thing for me to do as I am not good in crowds now with my anxiety, but I am doing it. I am forcing myself to take steps to reach goals.
Second, to celebrate the upcoming nuptials, Million Dollar Brother, Favorite Son-in-Law and Glass Boy (he will know who he is), went to New Orleans for Million Dollar Brother’s bachelor’s party. My husband and I went with them for their designated drivers and to make sure they returned safely to my house. Overall, it was a good night. We started off kind of rough as Million Dollar Brother took a shot of something that caused an allergic reaction and the boys were glad mom and dad were there. We found some Zyrtec and it seemed to make the reaction dissipate quickly. From there, my husband and I left the boys to do their partying without us. Giving them strict instructions on when to meet at the end of the night.
They all made it back to the meeting point and were home safely in bed fairly early with not much left in their wallets. As I remember now, I believe I paid for gas to get them back to Dallas (eyes rolling).
Second, we were blessed with attending Dapper Des’s graduation from Texas Tech University this Spring. She also was a productive member of society before she graduated by getting her first big girl job in Dallas, where her and Million Dollar Brother will live for a few years.
Third, Dapper Des purchased their first home, closed, remodeled and married all in one week! Crazy? Yes! Exciting to see them start their future in their new home? Yes, all worth the enormous amount of stress it put on them during their wedding week.
Forth, THE WEDDING! It was beautiful. Dapper Des looked perfect and Million Dollar Brother cried as she walked down the isle to him. It was nice to have a huge family gathering for a happy day. I spent the day with Dapper Des getting ready and watching the crazy boys in their room not get too crazy. The wedding was beautiful, outside, with a thunderstorm off in the distance. (Big Bubby letting us know he was there I am sure). We all had our moments before the wedding including Cowgirl, who drove several hours to see her brother-in-law tie the knot. We are so thankful Cowgirl still feels a part of our family as she will always be.
My husband, daughter, and I celebrated our birthdays in July. It was nice to be closer to be able to celebrate together.
As for me, I left New Orleans with no job. I had some prospects but no true job lined up. For the first time in my life, I chose my health and family over my career. I told everyone that God would find a way. I prayed that there would be something that would be a good fit for me. I am at that stage in my life, I don’t want to work 80 hours a week anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, I just need a bit slower paced work environment. With that said, about a week or so before I moved, there were two opportunities that presented themselves to me. One at a huge hospital group in Dallas and the other with my former boss from a job I had many years ago. Through the interviewing process and decision process, I felt God leading me to go with the consulting firm my former boss is at now. It is very easy going, everyone knows their work/deadlines, we all know what needs to be done to get there, and we do it. There isn’t the corporate overhead that are constantly asking why we can’t do it faster. For the first time in 20+ years, I don’t have a laptop that comes home with me almost every evening, weekends, and on vacation. Yes, you could say, I am a bit lost without that requirement.
When I moved back to Dallas, I didn’t have a place to stay. One of the Barn Ladies that has helped Million Dollar Bubby from the beginning of his horse career had just lost her husband a couple of months before I moved back. She offered one of her bedrooms to me and my husband to stay in until we found the right place for us. We wanted to stay close to her, my mother, and the kids so it took a minute to find. We finally made our final trip of stuff from inside her house on Sunday. We still have a garage to get but at least our house stuff is moved in and we can stay at the house. We love our Barn Lady for being so supportive of our family and allowing us to crash in her house for almost three full months. We couldn’t have made this move without her help.
I believe that moving back to Dallas, taking this position with my boss, and being able to relax on the weekends, has been a huge benefit to me. I leased a house in the Denton Texas area with 2 1/2 acres on it. Filled with trees and a creek that runs through the backyard. It is peaceful. It is relaxing. It is home now. I have seen butterflies, humming birds, squirrels, and oh so much rain, but the beauty in being in the house is that it feels like home.