So tomorrow marks the second birthday without Big Bubby. No fan fair will be made of the day. Some new flowers on his headstone and thoughts of him having birthday cake with Jesus. But that will be the extent of the celebration of his second birthday in heaven.
Life is hard, it throws curve balls at you when you don’t know how to hit a straight ball much less a curve ball. (baseball analogy since Big Bubby was such a fan). You learn to swing and miss or swing and hit. Some days I do both, hit and miss. I am better these days, but birthdays, anniversaries, holidays (any), bring back memories that are happy memories which bring tears to my eyes in a good way.
He wouldn’t want us to make a big deal out of his birthday either. Like his mom, he didn’t like to be made the center of attention unless it was him putting himself there.
I will be having a back procedure done to see if we can alleviate some or all of the pain I am having from my wreck. I just want to go back to my life I had before that wreck, doesn’t God know I had enough on my shoulders then not to have to deal with this now too? What is the saying, he only gives us what we can handle? I think he is pushing me to do more than I can handle.
Since I will be focused on my procedure tomorrow and probably sore on Saturday, Big Bubby’s birthday will come and go with little notice except for the closest of family and friends.
May you have a beautiful birthday in heaven sitting next to Jesus, Papa, Grandfather, Grandmother, and all those who went before you. Celebrate loud and proud my son, you deserve it.
Love you now and always – until you meet me at the gates of heaven