The things that have transpired here on earth since you transitioned to Heaven are many. Great as they are, I still wonder where you would be in the mix of things. Quietly, without those around me knowing, I watch and wonder what you would be stirring up. I miss that about life now without you. You were the one to cause the trouble in a good way around the family. I went to see you this past weekend. Dad and I picked up the flowers that had been there since Baby Sis’s FFA auction a couple weeks ago. You would be so surprised, or maybe not maybe you know, at how the area where you are has filled up. So many young adults too. So sad to know how many lives are gone so quickly when you really look at just that one little spot in that one cemetery.
We went to the Oil Field Worker’s wedding in Houston yesterday. Drove down and back since your birthday is today. We are getting closer to the wedding for Baby Sis. This year is a year filled with weddings, one being Cowgirls. I am happy she found love again, but also a little sad that time moves on.
It is so hard to know that just a little over 3 years ago, Baby Sis was getting ready to graduate from high school and now, she’s months away from getting married to her best friend. This wedding will bring tears of sorrow and tears of joy. Since the two marrying were both close to you. They will share a life of memories to share with their children of what a great person you were.
We are moving forward and learning how to live life without you in it. In my book I refer to it as the “After” part of my life. After losing you. You would be proud of me though. I have joined a couple of clubs to get me out of the house in the evenings and not just setting in the house alone. Dad is grateful I have taken this step. He feels that it is a step in the right direction.
I will go see you on Sunday, maybe eat a little lunch with you too. If it is cold, I may have to eat in the car lol. But I will be here to see you this year and for years to come on special days. It isn’t the same as touching and hugging you for your birthday, but it is all I have now. I make it work with little emotion shown, but my heart breaks every time I pull through the gates of the cemetery to see you. Even though I know your heavenly soul is no longer here on this earth, the place you were laid to rest is where I feel you closest to me.
I know I rambled in this blog and apologize to my readers. It has been a rough few weeks with illness and loss. I just wanted to tell Brenton I miss him so much and love him forever on his birthday.