I AM CAPABLE!
I can do anything I set my mind to do, so does that mean I am capable? In some ways yes, but in others no. I couldn’t climb Mount Everest (at least not in this lifetime). Capable of carrying on after losing a child though, that’s where I say it gets real. No less real than trying to climb Mount Everest.
Lord knows they both require years of training, learning how to breathe properly, learning your limits for the day, etc. They both also teach you to depend on others.
As for climbing, it is my understanding, you are putting your life in the hands of others in front and behind you to ensure that you all make it to the top to celebrate, yet in the end, not everyone makes it there. For various reasons but they don’t make it.
For being capable after the loss of a child, you have to make a conscious decision every day to get out of bed and live your life. For the first year after losing Big Bubby, I look back and can see days where I was just on auto pilot. I didn’t realize it but I was. You also have to make a conscious decision to live in the present with the family you have in front of you.
I wrote a few posts ago about my daughter being very honest with me, which I truly appreciate her doing. I think that helped me to change my perspective on how to move forward while still living with the loss of Big Bubby.
I am capable of doing both. My kids have been more than reasonable in my grieving the loss, but now, I am going to be living in the now, today, and what is going on in the lives of Baby Sis and Million Dollar Brother.
For parents who are living in the nightmare of losing a child, please, if you do have other children, don’t lose sight of them. I know it is hard to let go and not grieve all the time, but your living children need you as much as you need them.
YOU ARE CAPABLE too of living in the now, while still remembering your loss.