So it is fall, school is back in, and football is starting up. As I have previously posted, Million Dollar Brother was chosen as the Texas Tech Masked Rider back in the Spring. If any of you know (Texas Tech Alum for sure know) football of any kind, pee wee, grade school, middle school, high school, college, professional, you will find it in Texas. One of the most honored traditions at Texas Tech is being chosen to be the Masked Rider. There are only 55 of them in the 62 years the program has been around. How many people can say they are one of 55 mascots to a Division One college football team? This is one proud momma!
We were privileged enough to be able to purchase season tickets to the home games to be able to watch him every game. We were also asked to sit in the suite of those who sponsor the Masked Rider Program, Wells Fargo, for the opening game.
This was a bittersweet weekend for us. My husband reunited with a friend he has not seen in 20 years for Friday, we watched Million Dollar Brother lead the Red Raiders onto the home football field and win the opening game, and spend time with family. At times, I could feel the emptiness of Big Bubby not being there. If there was anyone who wanted his little brother to get this job for a year, it was Big Bubby. He was ready to watch his brother live out a dream right in front of Big Bubby’s eyes.
As Million Dollar Brother and Fearless led the team, tears streamed down my husband and I’s faces. We just couldn’t help but feel an emptiness without Big Bubby there to see it. Such a range of emotions from being soooo happy for Million Dollar Brother, to so sad that his Big Bubby didn’t get to see it.
This was the weekend of September 1st. This past weekend the team played out of town so Million Dollar Brother did a few appearances around town. The next home game, next week, we will be back in the stands to cheer the Masked Rider and Fearless coming onto the field.
It is coming close to the year anniversary of losing our Big Brother so momma’s emotions are all over the place. Certain things happening in our personal lives that I can’t talk about right now are not helping with the anxiety level. On top of everything else hitting me, I have lost my necklace I have worn since Big Bubby left us, it had my wedding ring and his finger print on it. So mad at myself for allowing myself not to catch that it had fallen off. Again my faith in mankind is totally gone. Should I find something of someone elses, especially if I can figure out it could be that important, I would do all I could to find out who it belonged to. Other people only see money. I hated this weekend, all I thought about was where could it be and why can’t someone just bring in the thumbprint. I can get another ring but the thumb print makes me feel like I let my son down.
I am tired of God giving me trials and I am tired of trying to figure out what I am supposed to learn from them. I can’t take any other challenges I am just tired of it all. I am not sure if others in my journey get to this point but I am and it really sucks.
Shattered Dreams and Shattered Faith 
You’re right, this new life sucks. I just looked at my wife’s fingerprint necklace and noticed it has numbers on the back side. Maybe you can go back to the place you got it and order another one.
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Yes we can order another one, but you know it is just the principal of the matter that I didn’t realize it was gone. I am better today than I was when I wrote this. I know things happen but man, I can really use a break at some point….
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S, While this new “life sucks”, Give thanks to Million Dollar Brother. B would want you too. You are alive. Your husband is alive. Your other kids are alive. Life is not fair, but you have to take what you can get.
We will now call my mom million dollar crazy. At 93 she is full on delusional and nuts! Psych eval and more than I can deal with considering million dollar sick mom-in-law! I am wearing a ring she gave me on my right hand and I hope and pray she can get strong enough for the next surgery. She has been in three hospital’s straight for 6 weeks. LTAC for the last week and a half.
God only gives you what you can take. I wear a ring she gave me months ago on my right hand. I pray she gets strong enough to do the next surgery. All others have failed except the right neck.
I just have to have faith. We felt horribly guilty going to Kauai last month. It was booked and there was nothing we could change or her circumstance. So we went. My dad always shows me “rainbows”. We drove north and Snorkel Bob’s disappeared the rainbow from there side of the hut (Bob was my dad’s name). We found out two hurricanes were converging on the islands right before we left. We went to the falls that has my iPhone case pic on it and we could not get a rainbow that day. I was pretty depressed.
Next day, a huge rainbow showed up right when M and I were not seeing eye to eye. I made a request and he said NO. Later it showed up again when we had our final night there and a musician who was not part of the restaurant started to play a song. I recognized it in my brain, but could not place it. M said it was “Somewhere over the Rainbow” and I immediately recognized it and started to cry. I just knew my dad was there.
If you open yourself, you will find these moments too. You and I are too alike and we are both type A and do not always see the signs. Open yourself and you will see the signs. I promise….XOXO M & S
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Thanks, I needed this. XOXO from me to you guys. Thanks for hanging in there with me!
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Sorry for the loss of your necklace. Be patient. It could turn up. I’ve found things in the hem of a jacket, etc. don’t give up yet
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