So this past Sunday marked eight months that Big Bubby has been gone from this earth. It seems like yesterday we received the call that he was gone. Time goes by so fast, yet so painfully slow if that makes sense to anyone.
The first few months, I think that I was so numb from all the “stuff” that has to be accomplished after someone passes that I didn’t let myself feel the full brunt of the loss that we have suffered. As the months have passed, the days are harder to bear, mostly because the numb is wearing off and reality is really sinking in.
As I go back through my pictures as I am posting blogs to look for new ones to post, it brings on so many memories it’s sometimes overwhelming. As you take photo’s throughout your life of your family growing up and taking family trips, playing summer baseball, etc, at the time, its just a picture to show where you were at, who was there, and what you were doing. Months maybe even years later, you realize, its all you have left of your life to remember your loved ones by when they are gone.
I have read so many books on losing children in all different aspects of losing them. From babies to adults. There is one theme that comes out through them all – no one ever finds the light at the end of the grief tunnel. Some learn to live with the grief, others learn ways to honor their lost child, some showing how strong they are in their faith, and yet others are still drowning in the grief years after their loss.
I have learned through all the Facebook pages and all the reading I have done, everyone is different. We all go at our own pace. Husbands must learn they can’t “fix” their wives. Wives must learn that husbands are grieving too just in different ways than us. You must always check on your living children to ensure they are moving through their grief process too.
When young adults have such a traumatic event happen as losing a sibling unexpectedly, sometimes they close themselves off. That’s OK for a while but just like adults, everyone must eventually pass through the stages of grief. The longer you wait, the more painful it will be when it finally surfaces. In one book I read, the author talked about how it took two years for one of her children to finally “explode”. You don’t know when it will surface but at some point there will be no holding it back and it will surface.
For those mom’s or dad’s out there that are like I was once, the one behind the camera not in front of it. Get out of your comfort zone and get in front of the camera. You never know when the picture your in is the last your family will have to look back on and remember you by. I have definitely stepped out of my comfort zone with this blog, so I tell the family and friends who are reading this, the picture thing will be the next step, I just need some time to get over that comfort zone. 🙂
Love and miss you more today than ever Big Bubby! Fly high on the wings of angels just don’t pester them too much. 🙂