I read this somewhere not long after losing Big Bubby but couldn’t find an author to attribute it to. it is very fitting to my situation as I am/was a Type A personality. Everything had to be in its place and have order to it. After losing Big Bubby, my entire mental processing has changed.
This has now turned into my motto for living. I don’t need the next new gadget or live in the newest of neighborhoods, or drive the coolest car on the block. I just need my family and the means to take care of them. That includes my Big Bubby’s band of brothers.
As most of us go throughout our days, we don’t think of the horrific tragedies that others are facing in their immediate lives. People living with cancer, losing a child to stillborn death, losing a child to SIDS months after the baby has come into a new couples life, or your friend who lost their child to a senseless act of violence or car accident. As parents you don’t want to think about those things because that means you have to face the fact that you, too, could be “that” parent facing the burial of your child due to the things above. We all go about our days in a “normal” routine that we all fall into. We forget the “I love you’s”, the “I will miss you while your away”, the “don’t end an evening by going to bed mad at each other”, etc.
In my quest to try and find my way through the grief forest and back to the grace of God, I am learning that things that used to be very important to me are no longer important at all. Maybe that is part of this experience for me personally is to learn that yes it is important to be able to provide for your family but there are times that you need to be still and quiet. I am over 40 year’s old and haven’t been without a job longer than a week since I was 16 years old. All my jobs are high stress, high profile jobs requiring a lot out of me at all times. When my husband and I took our cruise in December it was the first trip in 22 years that a laptop didn’t travel with us.
Funny thing too, I used to be the worlds worst about driving and getting upset with drivers who don’t respect other drivers on the road. We all know the ones who go to the very end of the on ramp or construction and expect you to let them in after you have set for hours. Now, that isn’t something that bothers me to the degree it used to. If you are in that much of a hurry to rush your life away, be my guest.
Now, when I see those who are not having a good day just by looking, I am not as impatient as I was at one point. I have learned through all of this that sometimes, in the strangest of places, grief strikes us and if you are not a strong person, can bring you to your knees in front of complete strangers.
So remember as you go about your normal days in life, you don’t know what the person in front of you, to the side of you, or behind you is dealing with. You are not walking in their shoes. Remember to speak softly to those who seem to need words of encouragement. One day, you could be the one who needs words of encouragement and someone could be there for you, maybe a complete stranger but someone who knows. Most of all, traveling this road, I am trying to learn the last part of the title which is “Leave the Rest to God”. I am not there yet, but my battle continues.
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