Today, this week, this month, has been really tough on me for some reason. No historically special occasion regarding Big Bubby that I am missing without him being here. It’s just those moments in time that take you to your knees when your not expecting it.

This post is going to be a rant so fair warning: I am typically not a person who pays much attention to celebrities who pass other than that they have died. I am not one to make a huge fuss out of someone I don’t know nor did they know me. But within the last few days it has been one celeb after another that has been plastered all over the news. Face Book has been nothing but post after post of “what is your memory of….”. Come to find out most are due to drug overdoses or violence related.

Continue reading “Who Cares About Someone You Don’t Know Who Has Died” →

November 14th, the day we had to say good-bye to our beloved Big Bubby, my baby I had grown up with. I remember most of the day as being numb. Maybe that is my mind protecting me from the harsh memories and reality of the setting, I am not sure but I know that there were hundreds of people who showed up to say good-bye to my baby. As you read on, know there will be some tears and some laughter at things that happened throughout the day.

I have never been one to care what I look like and have never liked to be the center of attention. I knew that this day, between Cowgirl and I, we would be the center of attention regarding Big Bubby for the entire day. What I do remember about that day is getting up and and thinking I have to try and look the best I can. The person who has done my families hair since the kids were in junior high, we will call her Hair Queen, had continuously asked what she could do to help. I, being in no mental capacity to answer, said, make sure I look presentable for the visitation and the funeral. So as sweet as she is, she came to the house  on Friday night, fixed my hair and make up, and again on Saturday morning showed up with her little one in tow and did it again. The little things that were done for us like this that people have no idea how much it helped us through, will not be forgotten. Hair Queen’s little girl at the visitation was looking at the flowers around the casket and started picking at them. I thought Hair Queen was going to flip out, I looked at her with tears streaming down my face and said, you know Big Bubby is behind her saying “pick that one” no “pick this one” no, “go over here and grab this one”….that is just the type of humor my boy had. Even in the darkest hours he would find a way to make us smile and laugh.

Continue reading “The Day We Had To Say Good-Bye” →