I have stated in other blogs that I have read at least six books on the death of a child. All based on Christian parents before and after their child passed. They have all leaned heavily on their faith to get them through the rough times.
It has been eight months since we lost Big Bubby. There are things that I can’t put in my blog due to certain reasons but in the last couple of weeks we have found that what we once thought was true about the accident, turned out to be completely wrong. So for eight months, I have lived with a “truth” that was a lie because people are just out to protect themselves. They don’t want to own up to what they have done or they want to blame others for their actions instead of taking responsibility for their own.
Dallas lost five police officers to someone who stated he was angry over police shootings of black men by white cops. Last Sunday, we woke up to find out that a gunman drove from Missouri to Baton Rouge and ambushed six police officers killing three, injuring two with non life threatening injuries, and one is in critical condition not known whether he will pull through.
What is the world coming to? Why can’t people own up to their faults when they make a mistake? Why do people feel it is OK to use violence as a way to solve anything? Yes there are bad police officers everywhere, but there are also good ones. When you have an encounter with one, do what they tell you to do and most of the time you will walk away with a ticket and nothing else.
My faith that Big Bubby is in Heaven with the rest of our family who have passed before is there. I know that is where Big Bubby is. When I see the violence on TV regarding all of these police shootings, I have to wonder if he is not the one better off. At least he can walk the streets of gold and not worry about who might be having a bad day/week and decide today is my day.
With each of these shootings, my faith in human kind dissolves a little more. Where is my God that is supposed to protect those that serve him in these situations? With each of these type of actions my faith that God is good grows thinner. That he has a plan and that he is in control. I lost my son to a horrible accident, but these families lost their loved ones to a callus act of another person who chose to get up that morning and kill police officers for no other reason than a black and white issue. We have all been told growing up, if you don’t learn your history, it will repeat itself. How true that statement was when we first heard it and now it is playing out in our streets all across the country.
I know what these parents and family are now going through who have lost their loved ones due to the ignorance and stupidity of others. My heart breaks for them because I know the rest of their lives will be a river of grief and questions that no one will have any answers to give. They are now in a club that has too high of a price to pay for admission and no one wants to be in.
2 thoughts on “How Will My Faith Ever Come Back….”
It’s very hard to come face to face with people’s tendency to protect themselves at all costs, even when the stakes are high. I think something I am learning through the death of my son is that I’m just not big enough or strong enough to carry anger or hatred or even indignation. I’m going to leave the justice to God. And I’m also learning that not much really makes sense from our perspective. The Psalms are full of questions and they don’t seem rhetorical to me anymore. Praying for all parents who have and are burying children-too, too hard.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I just want say I agree so much with you. I wonder the same thing about my son I think he is a lot better off in heaven then we are down here. This world is crazy anymore. And yes the grief club is a club none of us wanted to joined with the high price it cost. And I pray also for any parent who has to go through this pain it’s a never ending pain for the rest of your life.
LikeLiked by 1 person